Amelie's Book (The dark truth)
I hadn’t seen the door before. It wasn’t there last night. Cautiously, I turned the handle and it was pitch black, my mind kept saying to go in but my nerves were saying stay, who should I listen to? I felt myself walk in all of a sudden the door slammed shut, I tried to get back out but it was locked. Who did it? As I walk into to the darkness I only have my hearing and eyesight to keep me safe. I don't know who or what is inside here but whatever it is I don't like it. Then I see my old doll but It couldn't be, I left her in my room but… no that's impossible. Maybe I did, I don´t know, but how could my doll get down here, did I put her there, no I couldn't have, who did, unless she did? I was continuing to walk not knowing what to do next then I heard my parents crying saying my name over and over, did they have something to do with this? Then I finally hear them say my name and say I'm dead. What were they thinking? I started calling their names but they didn't hear me. Is this really the end? Then I see my doll move and start walking towards me, I feel scared because this is nowhere near normal, as she gets up to me I feel as though I am drifting I dont know why, then I hear the police sirens and it sounds as though that they are having an investigation, then I hear them saying I'm sorry for your loss, but I'm here! My parents don't know that I'm stuck in the attic, please I just want to be in my bed but now I live here everyday of my life, they think I'm dead but I'm really here. When will they find me?
hi Amelie, it's lily, I think your your story was very creative.
ReplyDeleteI got hooked into it very fast.
Thank you for sharing this spooky story!
Hi Lily Thanks for commenting on my blog. Thank you I tired to make as interesting as I could and that´s good that it hooked you in very fast!
DeleteKia ora Amelie,
ReplyDeleteWhat a spooky and creative story you have written. I was drawn to your blog by the interesting picture. Did you make the characters yourself?
I found your story to hook me in with the great sentence starter. It was interesting to read. Something that could help improve your story would be to read it to yourself aloud. That way you might pick up the missed punctuation.
Thank you for writing a great story and illustrating it. Keep up the great blogging.
:) Sharon - Te Ara Tūhura Education Programme Leader
Hello Sharon, Thank you so much for commenting on my blog, I actually did read it to myself but maybe I did miss the punctuation. I actually didn't make the characters myself I wish though and im trying to do as much blogging as I can.
DeleteAmelie :)
Wow Amelie this is such a scary introduction to your story, you really know how to stir up emotions with your writting, well done, awesome work!
ReplyDeleteGina (MUM) :)
Hi Amelie, great story. I love dark tales with a twist. A few full stops are needed but no majors. Maybe, as an alternative ending to explore you could have the dolly take over your likeness and pretend to be you in real life!
ReplyDeleteLove, Uncle David. x
Hi Amelie. Scary story. Loved the way you put your thoughts on to the page - such economy of words and the way you used punctuation to create an atmosphere really held my interest. I just wished it had a happy ending. Much love Nana xx
ReplyDelete